MY Wife's Love
"I'm worried that I'm losing my wife's love," the husband told the
counselor.
"Has she started to neglect you?"
"Not at all," the dejected man replied. "She meets me at the door with a
cold drink and a warm kiss. My shirts are always ironed, she's a great
cook, the house is always neat, she keeps the kids out of my hair. She
lets me choose the television shows we watch and she never objects to
kinky sex or says she has a headache."
"So what's the problem?"
"Maybe I'm just being too sensitive," the husband ventured, "but at
night, when she thinks I'm sleeping, she puts her lips close to my ear
and whispers, 'Die! You son of a bitch, die!'"
A man comes home from work and is greeted by his wife
dressed in a teddy.
"Tie me up," she purrs, "and you can do anything you want."
So he ties her up and goes out for a round of golf. A guy walks into a bar and orders twelve shots of
the best whiskey in the house. The bartender proceeds
to fill twelve shot glasses and stares , puzzled, at
the guy as he begins to drink them down, one by one.
As the guy is finishing the eleventh shot, the bartender
asks, "What's the occasion?" The guy says,
"I'm celebrating my first blowjob!", as he finishes off
the last shot.
"Well," says the bartender, "in that case, here have
one on the house " and he fills another shot glass.
"No thanks," says the guy, "If twelve didn't get the
taste out of my mouth, one more won't!"
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