Colonoscopy's
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during this exam were
quite
humorous. A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
made
by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopy:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone
before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
12. "God, Now I know why I am not gay."
And the best one of all . . .
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?"
________________________________
There once was a man named Eugene
Who invented a screwing machine
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.
There once was a priest from Bings,
whose mind was on heavenly things.
But his earthly desire
was a boy on the choir
whose ass shook like jello on springs.
There was a young girl from Odessa,
A rather unblushing transgressor.
When sent to the priest
The lewd little beast
Began to undress her confessor.
________________________________
Q: How do you change a Fox into an Elephant?
A: You marry her.
Q: How do you turn a Stallion into a pig?
A: You marry him.
