Things Men Say & What They Mean

Things Men Say   Find out what men really mean when they say...   "I'M GOING FISHING" Means: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."   "IT'S A GUY THING" Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".   "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"   "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..." Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.   "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Means: "I have no idea how it works."   "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD". Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."   "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Means: "Are you still talking?"   "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."   "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."   "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING". Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."   "I CAN'T FIND IT." Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."   "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Means: "What did you catch me at?"   "I HEARD YOU." Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."   "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."   "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC" Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."   "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."   "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK" Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."