Three women had a very late night drinking. They left in the early morning hours and went home their separate ways. The next day, they all met and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.
The first girl claims that she was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home and walked into the house. As soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."
The second said, "You think that was drunk? Hell, I got into my car and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"
The third proclaimed, "Damn, I was the drunkest by far. When I got home, I got into a big fight with my husband, knocked a candle over, and burned the whole house down!"
The room was silent for a moment.
Then, the first girl spoke out again, "Listen girls, I don't think you understand... Chunks is my Dog!!"
aaaaa
Once upon a time a beautiful independent self assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with mum, and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so". That night, while the princess dined on frogs legs, she laughed to herself and thought : "I don't fucking think so".
aaaaa
Yo mama so slutty, she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
Yo mama's like a refrigerator, everyone sticks their meat in her.
Yo mama so poor, her face is on the front of a food stamp.
Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells like shit !!
Yo momma is like a bottle of ketchup, she gets turned around, banged, and then she comes out slow.
Your mother is like a doorknob.... everyone gets a turn!
Your mom is like a race car driver, she burns 50 rubbers a day.
