She Needed A Guy
When I was 16 I found a boyfriend, but there was no passion.
So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest for life.
In college I dated a very passionate guy, but he was too emotional.
Everything was an emergency, he was a drama queen, cried all
the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a man
with some stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable guy but he was boring.
He was totally predictable and never got excited about
anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a
man with some excitement.
When I was 30 I found an exciting man, but I couldn't keep
up with him. He rushed from one party to another, never
settling on anything. He did mad, impetuous things and
flirted with everyone he met. He made me miserable as
often as happy. He was great fun initially and very
energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a
man with ambition.
When I turned 35, I found a smart ambitious man with his
feet planted firmly on the ground so I moved in with him.
He was so ambitious that he dumped me and took everything
I owned.
I am now 40 and am looking for a guy with a very big dick.
ddd
A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated
and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he
was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then,
while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started
talking to him.
"Irving, you know that fur coat you promised me?
I bought it with the insurance money!
"Irving, remember that new car you promised me?
Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!
"Irving, do you remember that emerald necklace you
promised me? I bought it, too, with the insurance money."
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said,
"Irving, remember that blow job I promised you?
Here it comes..."
