---------- Forwarded message ----------
From:
The Jokeman <butter9ball@yahoo.com> Date: Mon, May 16, 2011 at 7:06 PM
Subject: [Pauls_funnies] DRIVE THROUGH CASH MACHINES
To:
pauls_funnies@yahoogroups.com Drive Through Cash Machines (ATM)
To enable new users to use this facility, the following procedures have been drawn up.
MALE PROCEDURE 1.. Drive up to cash machine.
2.. Roll down car window.
3.. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4.. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5.. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6.. Roll up window.
7.. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1.. Drive up to cash machine.
2.. Put car in reverse and back up to required distance to align car window to machine.
3.. Restart stalled engine.
4.. Roll down car window.
5.. Find handbag, remove all contents onto passengers seat to locate card.
6.. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7.. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car.
8.. Insert card.
9.. Re-insert card the right way up.
10.. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11.. Enter PIN.
12.. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13.. Enter amount of cash required.
14.. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
15.. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16.. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17.. Place receipt in back of check book.
18.. Re-check make-up again.
19.. Drive forward 10 feet.
20.. Put car in reverse and back up to cash machine.
21.. Retrieve card.
22.. Re- empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot.
23.. Re-check make-up
24.. Restart stalled engine and pull out.
25.. Drive for 3 or 4 miles.
26.. Release hand brake. How do we know God is a man?
Because if God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate! Why are there so many homes for battered women?
Because they just don't fucking listen!! If girls are made of sugar & spice, how come they all smell like Anchovies? Why do women get their belly buttons pierced?
So they have a place to hang an air freshener! What's the difference between a pussy and a cunt. ?
Answer: A pussy is that furry thing between a woman's legs that feels so good, and tastes so good and us guys have so much fun with,
And a cunt is what owns it. |
