Potrait

 

A clever elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted, so she told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, an emerald bracelet, and a gold Rolex."
"But you're not wearing any of those things!" the artist pointed out.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I die before my husband. If he remarries right away, I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellry."