An Excuse
A married man decided to work late to be with his sexy secretary,
so he called his wife to make up an excuse.
After work he invited his secretary to dinner. It soon became
obvious that he was going to get lucky, so the two went back to her
apartment and had great sex for two hours.
Afterward the fellow went to the bathroom to straighten up for the trip
home and noticed a huge hickey on his neck. He panicked, wondering what to
tell his wife.
After the man unlocked his front door, his dog came bounding to
greet him. Aha, the man thought, and promptly fell to the carpet,
pretending to fight off the affectionate animal. Holding his neck with one
hand, he said, Honey, look what the dog did to my neck!
Hell, she answered, ripping open her blouse.
Look what he did to my tits!
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Q. What do you get when you cross a telephone with a pair of pants?
A. Bell-bottoms!
Q. How is a telephone like a dirty bathtub?
A. They both have rings!
Q. What happened to the little frog who sat on the telephone?
A. He grew up to be a bellhop!
Q. What do you get if you cross a telephone with an iron?
A. A smooth operator!
Q. What do you call a large person who constantly calls up people, pretending to be somebody else?
A. A big phone-y!
Q. Why didn't the skeleton need a telephone?
A. He had no body to talk with!
Q. How does a cheerleader answer the phone?
A. H-E-L-L-O!
Q. What do you get if you cross a phone with a pair of glasses?
A. A television.
Q. What is the cheapest time to call your friends long distance?
A. When they're not home!
Q. How does Ebenezer Scrooge make phone calls?
A. Collect!
Q. What do you get if you cross a phone with a birthday celebration?
A. A party line!
Q. How does a barber make phone calls?
A. He cuts them short.
Q. Why didn't the mummy want a telephone?
A. He always got too wrapped up in his calls!
