LITTLE JOHNNY AND LITTLE TOMMY

Little Johnny and Little Tommy went over to Little Johnny's house to
play. Little Johnny's mother overheard them playing in his big sister's
room.

"Little Johnny, I've looked and looked but I don't see any tigers,
clowns or elephants," Little Tommy complained.

Little Johnny asked him what he meant, and he explained, "I overheard
some high school boys say your sister was a three-ring circus."

Little Johnny's mother smiled at the innocence of the boys, until she
heard Little Johnny's explanation:

"Oh that, that just means that on the first date she'll suck your cock,
on the second date she'll fuck you, and on the third date she'll let you
fuck her up the ass!"

 

~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~

 

A blonde and her boyfriend were setting at home one night and became
bored.

"Hey, let's play a game" she said.

"What game?" was his bored reply.

"Let's play hide'n'seek. I'll give you a blow-job if you can find me,"
replied the blonde.

"What if I can't find you?" he answered, still bored.

"I'll be behind the piano," she said.

~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~

 

A Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA
batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, "Come this
way," and heads towards the back of the store.

"If I could come that way," she tells the retreating clerk, "I wouldn't
need the batteries."

~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~

Q: What's a real mate?
A: Someone who'll go into town, get two head jobs and gives you one
….when he returns.

Q: What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.

Q: Why do ballerinas wear tights?
A: So when they do the splits they don't stick to the ground.

Q: What do eating pussy and the Mafia have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.