Code Blue for cardiac arrest, Code Red for fire, etc.
My first night on the job alone, however, a nurse phoned and asked me to page a "Code Brown, Room 214."
I had no idea what that was. I called the page, then searched frantically through my emergency manual, but I couldn't find any description of it anywhere. Stumped, I finally called the nurse back and asked her about it.
"Relax," laughed the nurse. "Code Brown is what we page when a patient is discharged and leaves behind an unfinished box of chocolates!"
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One day Little Johnny's teacher, decided to play a spelling game. She gave a letter of the alphabet and the kids have to spell a word starting with that letter, then use it in a sentence. Starting with "A" Little Johnny's hand was continually in the air, but the teacher ignored him. Little Johnny had a propensity for lewd remarks and could turn the simplest of statements into sexual innuendo. The teacher was afraid to let Johnny use any letter that he could turn into a lewd statement.
"All right now, Susan, you first?" said the teacher.
"A is for Ape, A-P-E, An ape likes bananas," answered Susan.
"Excellent!" said the teacher.
She continues on through the alphabet. Finally she reaches F. Now she will NOT let Little Johnny answer this under any circumstances so she asks Mary.
"F is for Fairy F-A-I-R-Y, they're little girls who lives among the flowers," Mary replies.
"Great!" says the teacher. "Now we get to G."
Only Little Johnny has his hand up so the teacher thinks about this and decides "G" is a safe one. "Yes Johnny?" she asks.
"G is for Gnome G-N-O-M-E. A Gnome lives among the flowers too."
"Johnny! That's Excellent!" exclaims the teacher, very happy that for once he wasn't out of line.
Little Johnny goes on to say, "Yes, teacher, he's the one who screws the fairies!"
Just a Dime
As a kid I used to have a lemonade stand. The sign said, "All you can drink for a dime." So some kid would come up, plunk down his dime, drink a glass, and say, "Refill it."
I'd say, "That'll be another dime."
"How come? Your sign says -- All you can drink for a dime!"
"Well, you had a glass didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"That's all you can drink for a dime."
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A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. As a kid I used to have a lemonade stand. The sign said, "All you can drink for a dime." So some kid would come up, plunk down his dime, drink a glass, and say, "Refill it."
I'd say, "That'll be another dime."
"How come? Your sign says -- All you can drink for a dime!"
"Well, you had a glass didn't you?"
"Yeah."
"That's all you can drink for a dime."
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On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest classes in the school.
Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest.
He had no trouble with discipline that term.
