"Are there any prayer needs today?" I asked during a worship service.
One person mentioned a neighbor who was sick. Another spoke of a couple with financial problems. A young man asked us to pray for the family of a friend's grandmother who recently died. After hearing what seemed to be all the requests I said, "If there are no other needs then let us bow our heads and pray."
Shortly after beginning the prayer, I felt something tugging on my pants leg and at the same time heard a loud whisper: "Preacher. Preacher. "I 'needs' something too!"
Still speaking, I slightly opened one eye and took a peek. A little boy was on his hands and knees below me, tugging on my pants leg as hard as he could and earnestly whispering: "Preacher, I 'needs' something too!"
The choir members behind were beginning to lose their composure and I could hear giggling in the background as the boy continued tugging on my pants and was by now speaking loudly: "Preacher, I 'needs' something!"
"Oh no!" I thought to myself. "In my arrogance and pride, had I ignored the needs of a small child? Maybe he knew of someone who was ill that we needed to include?" Feeling guilty and ashamed, I stopped the prayer and gently asked the young boy: "Yes son, what do you need?"
"Preacher, I 'needs' to go to the bathroom!”
Last year the county spent $80,000 on a new school bus so kids wouldn't have to walk to school, and this year they're spending $200,000 on a new gymnasium so they can get some exercise.
An old Jewish man, who has kept kosher his whole life, one day steps into a non-kosher butcher shop and says, "Excuse me, how much is that bacon?"
A bolt of lightning smashes into the ground next to him.
He looks up and says, "I WAS JUST ASKING!”
Carry On Baggage:
My husband and I took our two-year-old daughter to the home-improvement store. Madison Madison
Getting annoyed, he scolded, " Madison
"But, Daddy," she replied, "I'm just trying to get my gum back.”
In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms.
An elderly woman hesitantly entered my cubicle. She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the necessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital.
"Just to visit a friend," she said, "but this had taken so long, I'm not sure I have time now.”
