'OK kids, we are going to talk about sexual education today. First
we'll talk about how the human reproduction goes on...'
Immediately, little Johnny raises his hand, and desperately tries to get
the teacher's attention. But the teacher, knowing how little Johnny is
about these things, goes on...
'... First, a man and woman have to be in love... '
But little Johnny keeps his hand up, waving it up and down, and from
one side to the other one.
The teacher ignores him..'..They have to be very much in love because...'
But now little Johnny even starts making noise with his feet, so
the teacher, decides to acknowledge him:
' OK, little Johnny. What do you want to say?'
Little Johnny then stands up, and says:
'I just wanted to ask - those of us who have already fucked, can we
leave?!'
************
One day the teacher came to class with a rose placed in her cleavage.
She asked, 'Can anyone tell me what roses drink? How about you, Johnny ?'
'Milk!' answered Little Johnny.
'No, I'm sorry. That's the wrong answer. Roses drink water,' explained
the
teacher.
'Wow!' Johnny exclaimed. 'I didn't know the stem was that long!!'
************
Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
'Why?' asks the father.
'The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said, 6.'
'But that's right!' 'Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?''
'What's the fucking difference?'
'That's exactly what I said!'
************
Liitle Johnny and his li'l sister are peeping through a keyhole at
their parents making love
'Wow, look at them! And we are not allowed even to stick a finger in
our nose!'
************
Johnny and his father are observing a couple of dogs screwing each other.
'Dad, what're the dogs doing?' asks Johnny.
'Well, the one below has relaxed and the one above has concentrated.
'Okay, I've understood.'
'What've you understood!?
'Never relax in your life, dad, or you'll get fucked like a dog!'
************
Johnny's parents were out of town once and so they asked that young
female teacher to stay for that time in their house.
Before going to bed Johnny says to her, 'Oh, please, I'm so afraid to be
by myself, please, sleep in my bed..'
She agrees, they go to bed.
In the morning she wakes up to find a big hairy-chested man in her bed.
She exclaims, 'Johnny? Where is Johnny?!!!'
'Johnny? Who is Johnny? Is that the little boy selling the tickets
outside?'
************
Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, 'Mom, what those
things on your chest?'
Unsure how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast
tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.
Johnny didn't forget.. The following morning he asked his father the
same question.
His father, always quick with the answers, says, 'Why Johnny, those
are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float
to heaven.'
Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.
A few weeks later, Johnny's dad comes home from work a few hours early.
Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, 'Daddy! Daddy!
Mommy's dying!
His father says, 'Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?'
Johnny replies, 'Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy's balloons and
she's screaming, 'Oh God, I'm coming!!''
************
The lady teacher asks the pupils about the kind of medicines they know
of and what are they used for:-
The first pupil said - 'Tylenol.'
'Very good! And what is it used for?'
'It is used for headache.'
The second pupil said - 'Nytol.'
'Excellent. And what is it used for?'
'To help you sleep.'
Now it is Johnny's turn. He says - 'Viagra.'
'Johnny, what is it used for?'
'I think it can be used for diarrohea.' 'Who told you this?'
'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father, 'Take a Viagra,
maybe that little shit will get harder!!!'
