The Ultimate Internet Mind Virus
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken. So
anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over. When he got
out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw
a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use
his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a
virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened
an email entitled "Join the crew!"
He knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer
who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year
2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in which
all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Nieman-Marcus
cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates (It's true--I read it
all last week in a mass email from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also
promising me a free Disneyworld Vacation and $5,000 if I would forward
the email to everyone I know).
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing kidney, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed
with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said
"Welcome to the world of AIDS."
Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital--the very one where
that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is
for everyone in the world to send him an email and the American Cancer
Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every email he receives. I
sent him two emails and one of them was a bunch of X's and O's in the
shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you
will have good luck but ten people only will give you OK luck and if
you send it to less than ten people you will have bad luck FOR SEVEN
YEARS!)
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
the way he noticed another car driving along without its lights on. To
be helpful, he flashed his lights and was promptly shot as part of a
gang initiation.
And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.
(author unknown)
