Redneck

In the backwoods of Arkansas, a redneck's wife went into labour in the
middle of the night.   

A doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous redneck busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and
said, "Here, hold this high so I can see what I'm doing".   

Soon a wee baby   boy was brought into the world.   

 "Whoa there Enus!" said the doctor.
"Dont be in a rush to put the lantern down.. I think there's yet another wee
one to come."  

Sure enough within minutes he had delivered another little   baby.   

"No, no, dont be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern,
young man... It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.
The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment and asked the doctor,
" Do ye think it's der light that's attractin' em?" 

Seniors Fishing

UP OR DOWN SEX
   
   
At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly Gentleman and an elderly lady. Struck up a conversation and discovered that.They both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day!
   
The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing boat and started out on their adventure. They were riding down the river when there was a fork in the river, and the gentleman asked the lady,
   
"Do you want to go up or down?"
   
 All of a sudden the lady stripped off her shirt and pants and made mad passionate love to the man right there in the boat ! When they finished, the man couldn't believe
What had just happened, but he had just experienced     the best sex that he'd had in years. They fished for a while and continued on down the river, when soon they came upon another fork in the river.
    

He again asked the lady, "Up or down ?"   
There she went again, stripped off her clothes,
And made wild passionate love to him again.
This really impressed the elderly gentleman, so
 he asked her to go fishing again the next day!
   
She said yes and there they were the next day,
riding in the boat when they came upon the fork in the
river, and the elderly gentleman asked, "Up or down ?"
   

The woman replied, "Down."
    

A little puzzled and disappointed, the gentleman
guided the boat down the river when he came upon
another fork in the river and he asked the Lady,

 

"Up or down ?"
    

She replied, "Up.This really confused the gentleman so he asked "What's the deal? Yesterday, every time I asked you if you wanted to go up or down you made made Passionate love to me. Now today, nothing!"
   
She replied, "Well, yesterday I wasn't wearing
 my hearing aid and I thought the choices were
   
"Fuck or drown."