Top 9 Funniest News p aper Classifieds
(Actual excerpts from classified sections of city newspapers)
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1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
(man....if only I knew A B C....)
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2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again.
(sure...thanx for the warning!)
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3. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
(in months or years?)
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4. Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated. Come here first.
(check it out)
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5. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
(howwww sweeeet)
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6. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
(wow! A free trip to heaven?)
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7. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
(uh...huh!)
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8. Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
(hey....who taught cows the bad habit??)
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9. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
(nice work)
Mar 19, 2010
"How do you spell 'Ooops?"
A man was having problems with premature
ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He
asked the doctor what he could do to cure his
problem.
In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like
you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling
yourself."
That same day the man went to the store and
bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try
this suggestion, he ran home to his wife.
At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked
and waiting. As the two began, they found
themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments
later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired
the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked, "How did it go?"
The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired
the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit 3 inches off
my 'unit' and my neighbor came out of the closet
with his hands in the air!"
ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He
asked the doctor what he could do to cure his
problem.
In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like
you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling
yourself."
That same day the man went to the store and
bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try
this suggestion, he ran home to his wife.
At home, he found his wife was in bed, naked
and waiting. As the two began, they found
themselves in the 69 position. The man, moments
later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired
the starter pistol.
The next day, the man went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked, "How did it go?"
The man answered, "Not that well...when I fired
the pistol, my wife peed in my face, bit 3 inches off
my 'unit' and my neighbor came out of the closet
with his hands in the air!"
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