Dirty Blonde Jokes

Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had 2 chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times.

Q: What did the blondes left leg say to her right?
A: As if they've ever met!

Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.

Q: What do blonde's do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.

Q: What do blonde's do with their Assholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

Q: What's the link between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: Both get screwed on the front of a Ford Fiesta.

 Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.

Q: What nickname is most used by blonde's in order to boost their popularity?
A: B.J.

Q: What is blonde, brunette, blond, brunette ...?
A: A blonde doing cartwheels.

Q: How do you know when a blonde's been in your refrigerator?
A: There's lipstick on your cucumbers/courgette/zuchini.

Q: What's a 68 to a blonde?
A: It's where she goes down on you and you owe her one.

Q: What's the white stuff you find in a blonde's panties?
A: Clitty litter.

Q: Why is it that Blonde's always get confused in the Ladies rest room?
A: Well, it's cost they gotta pull their own pants down...

Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Because their balls would show.

 

Q: What is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde?
A: Vaseline and Poligrip.

Q: What is a bellybutton for?
A: It gives a blonde a place to park her gum on the way down.

 

Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head?
A: Sweet fuck all.

Q: Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?
A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.

 

Q: What is the smartest thing that can come out of a blonde's mouth?

A: Einstein's dick.

Q: What do you call a blonde with pigtails?
A: A blow job with handlebars.

 

Q: What did the blonde say during a porno?
A: "Hey fellas, Look! There I am!"

Q: How does a blond prepare for safe sex?
A: She puts on rubber based lipstick.

 

Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size?
A: Silicone chips.

LITTLE JOHNNY AND LITTLE TOMMY

Little Johnny and Little Tommy went over to Little Johnny's house to
play. Little Johnny's mother overheard them playing in his big sister's
room.

"Little Johnny, I've looked and looked but I don't see any tigers,
clowns or elephants," Little Tommy complained.

Little Johnny asked him what he meant, and he explained, "I overheard
some high school boys say your sister was a three-ring circus."

Little Johnny's mother smiled at the innocence of the boys, until she
heard Little Johnny's explanation:

"Oh that, that just means that on the first date she'll suck your cock,
on the second date she'll fuck you, and on the third date she'll let you
fuck her up the ass!"

 

~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~

 

A blonde and her boyfriend were setting at home one night and became
bored.

"Hey, let's play a game" she said.

"What game?" was his bored reply.

"Let's play hide'n'seek. I'll give you a blow-job if you can find me,"
replied the blonde.

"What if I can't find you?" he answered, still bored.

"I'll be behind the piano," she said.

~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~

 

A Woman goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk for two AA
batteries. The clerk gestures with his fingers and says, "Come this
way," and heads towards the back of the store.

"If I could come that way," she tells the retreating clerk, "I wouldn't
need the batteries."

~^~*~^~*~^~*~^~

Q: What's a real mate?
A: Someone who'll go into town, get two head jobs and gives you one
….when he returns.

Q: What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
A: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice.

Q: Why do ballerinas wear tights?
A: So when they do the splits they don't stick to the ground.

Q: What do eating pussy and the Mafia have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.