Senior's Sex Guide
*Put on your glasses. Double check that your partner is actually in bed with you.
*Set timer for 10 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
*Set the mood with lighting. Turn them ALL OFF!
*Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
*Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
*Keep extra Poly grip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
*Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
*Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.
*If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.
*Don't even think about trying it twice.
*******
Sue and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they haven't seen each other since graduation.
They begin to talk and bring each other up to date.
The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc and finally gets around to their sex lives.
Sue says "It's OK. We get it on every week or so but it's no big adventure, how's yours?"
Sally replies "It's just great, ever since we got into S&M."
Sue is aghast. "Really Sally, I never would have guessed that you would go for that."
"Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."
