Better Definitions
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women go to curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
.....
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't
believe it, just try this experiment. Put your dog and
your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour, When
you open the trunk, which one is really happy
to see you?
.....
Let's keep incest in the family.
Constipation is the thief of time; diarrhea waits for no man.
Daffynition - foreplay: The conversation with a woman
wherein you either wildly exaggerate or flat out lie about
your positive qualities in order to get laid.
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide all his eggs?
A: He doesn't want you to know that he fucks chickens.
.....
There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.
.....
Q: What is every Amish chick's fantasy?
A: Two Mennonite.
Q: How do you know if your girlfriend is too young for you?
A: You have to make airplane noises to get your cock in
her mouth.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
