Two Old Ladies
There was this guy who took very good care of his body. He lifted
weights, and jogged six miles everyday. One morning, he looked
in the mirror and admired his body. He noticed that he was sun-tanned
all over, except his penis, which he decided to do something about.
That afternoon he went to the beach, got completely undressed and
buried himself in the sand, except for his penis.
Two old ladies came walking along the beach. Upon seeing the thing
sticking out of the sand, one old lady began to move it around
with her cane, remarking to theother old lady, saying, "You know,
there really is no justice in the world."
The other lady daid, "What do you mean by that?"
The old lady said, "Look at that, when I was 20.
I was courious about it, when I was 30, I enjoyed it, when I was 40, I
asked for it, when I was 50, I paid for it, when I was 60, I prayed for
it, when I was 70, I forgot about it and now that I'm 80,
the damn things are growing wild and I'm to old to squat!"
============== You are suffering form what is technically known as an Electra
Complex," the psychiatrist is informing his blonde female patient.
"In other words, you are in love with your father."
The blonde breaks down into hysterical sobbing.
"Now, now," comforts the shrink. "It's not all that bad."
"Yes..(snif)...yes, it is," gets out the blonde between sobs.
"I have no chance at all...he's a married man!"
============== A blonde was summoned to court to appear as a witness in a lawsuit. The
prosecutor opened his questioning with, "Where were you the night of
August 24th?"
"Objection!" said the defense attorney. "Irrelevant!"
"Oh, that's okay," said the blonde from the witness stand.
"I don't mind answering the question."
"I object!" the defense said again.
"No, really," said the blonde. "I'll answer."
The judge ruled: "If the witness insists on answering, there is no
reason
for the defense to object."
So the prosecutor repeated the question: "Where were you the night of
August 24th?"
The blonde replied brightly, "I don't know."
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