Small Talk
A man spots a nice looking girl in a bar so he goes up and starts small
talk. Seeing that she didn't back off he asks her name. "Carmen," she
replies.
"That's a nice name," he says, warming up the conversation, "Who named
you, your mother?"
"No, I named myself," she answers.
"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"
"Because I like cars, and I like men," she says
looking directly into his eyes. "What's your name?"
"Beercunt" he replies.
A Blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her. She goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, and, sure enough,
when she opens the door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
She becomes extremely angry. She opens her purse and pulls out the gun
to shoot him, but she's suddenly overcome with grief.
She puts the gun up to the side her head. Her boyfriend yells "Honey,
don't do it" She replies "Shut up, you're next"
BillyBob and Rusty are walkin' through the drug store.
Rusty turns to BillyBob and asks, "What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?"
BillyBob replied, "I think it's the taste!"
Judi, the blonde, runs crying into the office.
"What's wrong?" gasps her best friend Carol.
==============
"It's my boyfriend" gushes Judi. He was working on the engine under
the hood of his car when the lid came down and cut off a finger!"
"My god" shrieks Carol. Did it amputate his WHOLE finger?"
"No thank goodness" sniffs Judi. But it was the one just next to it!"
==============
Men are like ... newborn babies
They're cute at first, but you get tired of picking up their crap.
Men are like ... coffee
The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night.
Men are like ... computers.
Hard to figure out and never enough memory.
