A Traveling Salesman
A traveling salesman was caught at a farmer's house during a snow storm.
The only place for the salesman to sleep was in a station wagon in the
garage. Just as the salesman was about to go to sleep, Nellie, one of
the farmer's daughters joined him for a memorable session of adult
games. So satisfied was Nellie that she departed the salesman and told
her sister, Venus about the salesman.
Venus then paid a visit to his passion wagon. The
result was a very short night of rest for the salesman. The snow storm
had subsided during the night and in the early hours of the morning, he
departed the farmer's house. He left without saying good-bye to avoid an
unpleasant situation should the farmer find out he had slept with both
of his daughters.
Three months later the salesman received a letter from the farmer. It
said:
Dear Sir,
Are you the one that did the pushing,
leave the spots upon the cushions
and leave your footprints
on the dashboard upside down?
Ever since you had my Nellie
she has a swelling in her belly.
Don't you think you ought to send
some money just right now?
The salesman wrote back to the farmer:
Yes Sir,
I'm the one that did the pushing,
I left the spots upon the cushions
and left my footprints
on the dashboard upside down.
But ever since I had your Venus,
I've had a swelling in my penis
and I think we're fifty-fifty
just right now!
-----------
A man went to church and saw his best friend crying there. "What
happened? What could be so bad?"
"My mother died yesterday," he sobbed.
"Oh my God! Not Mrs. C. How did that happen?"
"Well, it was hot yesterday, so we all had our beds on the balcony and
we were sleeping. My mother rolled over and fell off."
"Oh God, so that's how she died?"
"No. She fell to the third floor balcony, held on to the railing. That
broke and so she fell."
"So, that's how she died?"
"No. She fell to the second floor balcony, held on to the railing.
That broke and so she fell."
"So, that's how she died?"
"Uh, no, not exactly... She fell to the first floor balcony. We all
decided that she's destroying the house, so we shot her."
