BUBBA

A middle aged guy, tired of mowing the lawn, finally breaks down
and hires a neighborhood kid named Bubba to do the job for him.

One weekend, the husband is in the bathroom shaving, when Bubba
comes in after having mowed the lawn and proceeds to pee in the
toilet.

Curiosity got the better of the husband and he just had to look.
Bubba had the largest penis he had ever seen!!!

The man asked Bubba, "I don't mean to be too personal, but how
did your dick get that big? I couldn't help but notice..."

Bubba laughed and said,

"It's simple, every night before I go to bed, I bang it on the
bedpost three times."

The husband was excited at the simplicity of this technique and
could hardly wait to try it himself. Before he climbed into bed
that night, he whipped it out and banged it on the bedpost three
times.

He was just climbing into bed with newfound confidence when his
wife sat up, half-asleep and rubbing her eyes, and said,

"Is that you, Bubba?"

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A priest was out walking his parish when he noticed a small boy sitting on the stoop, crushing a flow of ants with his foot. As he ground the ants into the pavement, he kept yelling, "These goddam ants! These goddam ants!"
The priest went over to him and chided, "Little boy, God never put anything on Earth without a purpose."
"Sure He did," said the boy.
"And what would those be, my son?"
"Tits on a nun, balls on a priest, and these goddam ants!"

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Q: What's the main difference between mayonnaise and semen?
A: Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles per hour.

Q: What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?
A: The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.

Q: How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A: Marry it.

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?
A: You push it to the side before you start eating.