So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please."
The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating.
A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river.
Somehow drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?"
The second blonde replies,"They didn't last year...."
A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty, and was leaving his Mission in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives when he realized that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.
So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, 'This is a tree.'
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, 'Tree.'
The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, 'This is a rock.'
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, 'Rock.'
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes.. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, 'Man riding a bike.'
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them.
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied, 'My bike.'
In a nearly empty London bar on a filthy winter's day, there were several patrons quietly drinking when in comes your stereotypical American visitor, obviously unimpressed by the country, its weather and everything else about it.
He says loudly, "What a lousy country. The bars are shut half the time, it's cold, wet and windy, the beer tastes like piss and is served at the same temperature, the streets are packed and you can't even get a cab."
Several people quietly leave.
He looks at a gentleman quietly sipping a pink gin and says, "Hey,
limey:
how can you bear to live in such a miserable place?"
He is ignored, more people leave. After much more of this only the gentleman with the pink gin, the barman and the American are left.
He says, "Hey, limey, I'm talking to you. I've been to damn near every country in the world and this is the lousiest. I dunno how you can bear to live here. This country is just the arsehole of the world."
The gentleman with the pink gin pauses, takes another sip and, turning, delicately enquires of the American, "Oh, yes. Just passing through, are you?"
