Top 20 Reasons Why Chocolate is Better Than Sex ?

1) You can GET chocolate.


2) "If you love me you`ll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.






3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.


4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.






5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.


6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.






7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won`t mind.


8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.






9) The word "commitment" doesn`t scare off chocolate.


10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.






11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.


12) You don`t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.






13) With chocolate there`s no need to fake it.


14) Chocolate doesn`t make you pregnant.






15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.


16) Good chocolate is easy to find.






17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.


18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.






19) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.


20) With chocolate size doesn`t matter.

The Phone Call

The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.


"How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?"


"Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to have two couples over for dinner tonight."


The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy.




"Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll do everything. In fact, I'll even call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out for once."


"George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?"


"Why, George! Your husband!... Isn't this 223-1374?"


"No, this is 232-1374."


"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number."


There was a short pause and the housewife said,


"Does this mean you're not coming over?"