Are you the landlord?

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet, rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face close to hers. He does so and she begins to gently caress his beard, which is full and bushy. "Are you the landlord?" she asks, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no" he replies. "Well, can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" the woman asks, running her hands up beyond his beard and into his thick hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathes the barman, clearly aroused "is there anything I can do?". "Yes there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily. "Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room.".

Always Remember Those Who Serve

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, A 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and Sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in Front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "Fifty cents," replied the waitress. The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and Studied the coins in it. "Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the Waitress was growing impatient. "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied. The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on The table and walked away The boy finished the ice Cream, paid the cashier and left.. When the waitress Came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the Table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, Were two nickels and five pennies.. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had To have enough left to leave her a tip.