M E N

M E N Q : What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground? A : Shoot him again. Q : How can you tell when a man is well-hung? A : When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose. Q : Why do little boys whine? A : Because they're practicing to be men. Q : How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A : One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. Q : What do you call a handcuffed man? A : Trustworthy. Q : What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A : You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Q : Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A : To stop the snoring before it starts. Q : What is the difference between men and women? A : A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Q : How does a man keep his youth? A : By giving her money, furs and diamonds. Q : How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? A : Rename the mail folder "instruction manuals"

Important Life Lesson

Important Life Lesson During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious studentAnd had breezed through the questions until I readThe last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?" Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the Cleaning woman several times. She was tall, Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if The last question would count toward our quiz grade. "Absolutely, " said the professor. "In your careers, You will meet many people. All are significant. They Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do Is smile and say "hello." I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her Name was Dorothy.