One Liners

[1] Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while
driving.

[2] Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.

[3] Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!

[4] I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they
wanted cash.

[5] A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.

[6] Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

[7] Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you
cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

[8] You can't buy love, but you pay heavily for it.

[9] Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

[10] Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get
tired.

[11] Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll
take it anyway.

[12] My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees
with me.

[13] Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

[14] Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

[15] A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always
with the same person.

[16] You're getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than
doing them.

[17] It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still
ends up with the same boss.

[18] Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address
books.

[19] Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it
for you.

[20] Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk
because they have to say something

[21] They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom
gets to speak!

[22] Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.

[23]Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality
just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!

[24]Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.

[25]It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like
asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

[26]There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has
it.

[27]There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbor has
it!

Grand-pa

A man came to visit his grandparents, and he noticed
His grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking
Chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from
The waist down.

'Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in
The wind for everyone to see!' he exclaimed .

The old man looked off in the distance without
Answering.

'Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with
Nothing on below the waist?' he asked again.

The old man slowly looked at him and said,
'Well....last week I sat out here with no shirt on,
And I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma's idea.'