Priceless

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is so priceless,
and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past October, and Absa billed her for November and December
for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late
fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been £0.00,
now is somewhere around £500.00.

A family member placed a call to Absa:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in October."
Absa: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Absa: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been.
Family Member: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Absa: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her
to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Absa: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part
about her being dead?"
Absa: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in October."
Absa: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Absa: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Absa: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)

After they get the fax:
Absa: "Our system just isn't set-up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could
just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Absa: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Absa: "That might help."
Family Member: "St Marylebone Cemetery, Finchley, Plot Number B9075769."
Absa: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"

The Magical Frog (Story)

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.

The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you,but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make Your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to. "

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, -she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said,

"That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, -she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers: This is the end of the story for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.

Male readers: Please scroll down.

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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!