HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS BITCH

Ladies.....

HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS BITCH Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.  ''Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and  I'm wearing it,'' she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.'' A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion  where you could  wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear.....I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.'' (NOW I ASK YOU - IS THERE A WOMAN OUT THERE, ANYWHERE, WHO WOULDN'T ENJOY THIS STORY?) Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often. But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!

Toothbrush??

Little girl accidentally walks in on her father while he's getting

dressed. She points to his dick and says, "Daddy, what's that?" Not

 

wanting to explain to her yet, he says, "Uh, I can't tell you, it's

a

secret." The little girl finds her mother and asks, "What is that

long thing between Daddy's legs?" Her mother also doesn't want to

explain sex yet, so she says, "I don't know, he won't tell me." A

couple days later the little girl says to her mother. "Mommy, I

finally figured out what that thing between Daddy's legs is. It's a

 

toothbrush!" "Why do you think that?" the amused mother asks.

"Because," the little girl says, "this morning I saw the maid

sliding

it in and out of her mouth and she had toothpaste dripping down her

 

chin."