Computers and Cars

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo , Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, 'If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.'

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash ........Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five time 's as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

Ten Thoughts To Ponder For 2010

No 10.  Life is sexually transmitted.

 

No 9.   Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 

No 8.  Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see one without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 

No 7. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

No 6.  Some people are like a Slinky ... Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

No 5.   Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.

 

No 4.   All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.

 

No 3.   Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

 

No 2.  In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 

And The Number 1 Thought For 2010

"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers; What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"