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Wonder what it would be like if the 'Follow" button changed to 'Stalk'
"I am happy with the number of my followers" no one ever!
I'm passionate about some things. I just don't know what they are, yet
Be the kind of person your dog thinks you are.
Some guys focus more on how to get a girl but once they have her, they lose focus on how to keep her.
Patience is such a waste of time.
Cleavage : weapons of mass erection
You can't please all of the people all of the timeline.
It's Monday.... Time to warm up my middle finger.
If he isn't proud to call you his in public, he's not yours. Move on.
Nothing more stupid than to fall in love online and suffer before a gadget.
Its not how you play twitter, its how twitter plays you.
If you're married, you shouldn't have a crush. Unless it's me 'cause that's understandable.
Life is a bitch but make sure that bitch is beautiful.
When things get ugly I like to close my eyes and take a nap
"History repeats itself", in my web browser it sure does
If good things are in store for me, then where the hell is the store?
You have 3 options. On my side, By my side, Or get the fuck out of my way.
Twitter Where Stupid is allowed to roam free
In my head, I make a lot of sense.
Keep smiling, and one day life will get tired of upsetting you.
What women want:
Respect,
Love,
Equality,
Shoes,
And, a Comfortable Bra.
Let's face it.
There is no remote when it comes to life.
You have to get up off of your lazy ass & change it yourself.
Men rule the world, but women rule the men.
The only time a man takes care of a woman's hair is while she is giving him a blowjob.
Fungry: the state of being fucking hungry.
"Hmm" is the safest reply. After ":-)" that is.
How to teach a Girl dance in just 5 seconds??
.
.
.
.
Throw a Cockroach on her...
Number 1 lie on Twitter is ~
"I thought I was following you this whole time"
Made up word of the day:
Tweetsturbation. (With RT and Manual options. Obv.)
A lot of you have lowered your standards to star me. I appreciate that
Me - I want to spread you open and lick you over and over.
Wife - Are you talking to your Oreos again?!
Give a man a fuck and you'll make him feel better.
Teach a man to fuck and he'll make you feel better.
It amazes me how we turn our pain into laughter on here every day
I smell too good to be single
Flirting is like a game of chess: One wrong move and you're married.
This tweet is brought to you by: InsomniaŠ
Fuck what they think.
Fuck expecting anything.
Fuck being used.
Fuck constraints.
Fuck fear.
Fuck drama.
Fuck life without music.
I think unwanted texts should have a return to sender option.
Never grow up on Twitter.
That's when the fun stops. I believe.
Girl to guy: I Love You.
What girl meant: I Love You!
What guy thinks: Ah! Time to get laid baby.
Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
If, when you kiss her standing up, her hips start pressing against yours, it's a yes.
Drunk tweet: I lve oyu
I just got back from real life. It's boring.
My instinct says, "Don't trust your instinct".
Twitter: where a word's worth a thousand pictures because nobody's going to click your link.
I put the ouch in 'don't touch'
I wish I could go back in time and erase the day that I discovered the snooze button.
I put the me in awesome.
Behind every great woman is a man whispering dirty words in her ear.
Twitter, where minds go to fuck.
Being on Twitter doesn't mean you don't have a life. It means you have a life worth tweeting about.
I drink one beer a day for heart health reasons. The other 6 are simply because I want to get drunk.
Sex is a great way to relieve anxiety... so go fuck yourself.
Dear time spent on Twitter. Rest in peace. <3
Nothing gets me wetter than... a shower. Mmm.
NikhiL Saluja
