Not a Virgin
A girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that she
was not, as her fiance thought, a virgin. She asked her friend what
to do.
"No Problem," said the friend, who had just finished watching an
Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. "Just buy a piece of raw liver and
shove it up inside you. It will make you tight and he will never
know the difference."
The girl followed this advice and on her wedding night the groom
consummated the marriage with tremendous energy in the bed, on the
floor, in the bathtub, under the kitchen table, everywhere. She
fell asleep blissfully, but when she awoke she was devastated to
find the following note pinned to her pillow: Dear Jane: Last night
was pure heaven. Unfortunately, since we will never be able to
repeat that performance, I am leaving you forever.
P.S. Your pussy is in the sink.
SSSSS
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her young students so
she took him aside after class one day.
"Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"
"I'm in love," replied Little Johnny.
Holding back an urge to smile, the teacher asked, "With whom?"
"With you!" he said.
"But Little Johnny," said the teacher gently, "don't you see how
silly that is? Sure I'd like a husband of my own someday ... but I
don't want a child."
"Oh, don't worry," said Little Johnny reassuringly,
"I'll use a rubber!"
