THE ADULT BASEBALL DICTIONARY
THE BASICS
On Deck - Having plans for a date
Strike-Out - Duh!! (No Date)
Walk - Kissing / No Tongues
Single - Tongue kissing
Double - Breasts/chest touched, some clothes off, lots of grabbing and Feels.
Triple - Most of the clothes off, possible genital contact, mutual masturbation.
Home Run - SEX!
Bunt - Masturbation
Foul tip - VD
Three up and three down - impotency.
Inside the park home run - Oral Sex.
Pre-Game Warm-up - Fore-play.
Ground Rule Double - would have sex, but no condom.
Balk - Premature ejaculation.
Error - Condom breaks during sex.
Double Play - Having two partners at the same time.
Loaded Bases - menage a trois.
Ground Out - Moving for first base but partner says, "Not on a first date."
Banned for life for gambling - sex without condom.
Score Card - Number of times you orgasm vs. number of times partner orgasms.
Grand Slam - Sex three times in twelve hours.
Corked Bat - Using Viagra
FIELD TERMS
Pine Tar - Synthetic Lubrication
Relief pitcher - Vibrator
Pinch Runner - Tag-team sex with your roommate
Fast ball - Three strokes DONE!
In a pickle - Getting caught cheating on a partner
Getting the signals crossed - Moving in for the home run and ending up with a strike out.
Box Seats - Waterbed
Seventh Inning Stretch - Unusual positions
Rain Delay - parents/roommate return home unexpectedly.
Stranding the runner - You orgasm, your partner doesn't.
LEAGUE TERMS
Spectator - Peeping Tom
Forfeit - Date stands you up
Out of play - That time of the month
Cleared the bases - Changed the sheets
Bleacher Seats - Roommate's perspective while you are going at it
Suspended - Partner says they need some time alone
Being Traded - Being dumped for someone else
Free Agent - Recently dumped, currently unattached
Disabled list - Done it so much you can't stand
Ejected from game - Partner throws you off during rodeo sex
THE PLAYERS
Rookie - Virgin
Veteran - Prostitute
Talent Agent - Pimp
Scout - Someone scoping out your partner on a date
Minor Leagues - Under 18
All Stars Game - Doing it with your ex while still going out with your present
Switch Hitter - Sex with her one night, and her brother the next.
Hall of Fame - When you ask "Was it good for you" and they say "YES!!!"
PRACTICUM
Now that we have the definitions, let's quickly contrast the old confusion with current clarity:
OLD WAY - We, um got to third base, I guess and then we, um got like past third base, but not to home plate. I really like her...
NEW WAY - First, there was a triple, then we got an inside the park home run, and started thinking, it's Hall of Fame time!
NEW WAY - So there I was with the bases loaded and nobody out, when I balked during the seventh inning stretch and I had to call in a relief pitcher. (Author Unknown)
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