MEN'S THOUGHTS DURING LOVE MAKING
Kissing/Light Petting:
What he hopes you're thinking: "Oh, I can't resist: I'm powerless before your seductive ways!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Garlic breath--ewwww! "
**
Undressing
What he hopes you're thinking: "My God, look at the SIZE of that!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "My God, look at the size of that!"
**
Foreplay/Oral Sex
What he hopes you're thinking: "I could worship at the alter of your impressive manhood for hours."
What he's afraid you're thinking: "If he doesn't warn me before he cums, I'm going to kill him."
**
Penetration
What he hopes you're thinking: "You stallion, you're splitting me in half!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Is it in yet?"
**
Your Orgasm
What he hopes you're thinking: "Yes, (his name here), yes!"
What he's afraid you're thinking: "I deserve an Academy Award for this performance. "
What he's even more afraid you're thinking: "Yes, (other guy's name here), yes!"
**
Postcoital Bliss
What he hopes you're thinking: "Now I know what an earthquake feels like."
What he's afraid you're thinking: "Maybe I should let my lesbian friend Sue take me to that females-only dance club after all."
**********
Two old friends are having coffee when the first woman says,
"I hear that you've been telling people that I'm ugly!"
"Oh, no! I've just been saying that your new hairdo makes you
look less attractive."
"I also heard that you've been calling me fat!"
"Oh, no! I just said that the way you wear those stripes makes
you look larger than you really are."
"I also heard that you're saying that my husband has a wart on
his dick!"
"Oh, no! I only said that it feels like he has a wart on his
dick!"
