Sick Twisted Jokes
Duck Hunting
One Friday night a man tells his wife that he is going duck hunting
in the morning.
She says, "I want to go too."
He says, "NO... You are too hard to wake up."
She begged him, "Please, Please. I promise I will wake up early."
He says, "O.K. but if you wont get up, I'm going to screw you up
the ass or you are going to give me a blow job."
She said, "I've got nothing to worry about because I will wake up."
3:00am the next morning the alarm goes off. The man gets up and tries
to wake up his wife. She's still laying there and he tells her that
he is going to take a shower and when he gets out she'd better be up.
He gets out of the shower and she is still sleeping. He tells her he
is going to give her one more chance to wake up. He has to go out and
get their stuff and put the dogs in the truck and when he comes back
in she has to be awake or she has to pay up. He's out there about
30 minutes and when he comes back in his wife is snoring.
He is pissed. He wakes her up.
He said, "OK now what's it going to be? In the ass or a blow job?"
She said, "all right... I can't take in the ass so I will give you a
blow job."
He pulls out his cock and she starts sucking on it.
Then she begins to spit and spit. She says, "THAT TASTES LIKE SHIT!!!"
He said, "Yeah, I know, the dogs didn't want to wake up either."
yyyyyyyy
A little boy and his mother were driving down the
road one day and the little boy saw 2 dogs "doing
it." He asked his mom what they were doing. She
answered, "They're making cake." Later on he
saw 2 cows "doing it" and he asked his mom
what they were doing. Again she answered,
"They're making cake." Later that night the little
boy saw his mom and dad "doing it" and the next
morning he said to his mom, "Mommy, last night I
saw you and daddy making cake and I licked the
icing off the bed."
yyyyyyyy
There was a young maid from Belfast
Who had trouble getting it past
The warts and the scabs
That she got from the lads
Who wiped their tools on her arse.
A dyke and a queer named Groom
Were planning their honeymoon
Groom said "My dear
It's not very clear
Who should do what to whom".
