Whether a woman fakes her orgasms or not, is something
the majority of men would rather not question in case they
would discover she has been all along, and they are not in
fact the stud they thought women go wild for, but rather
a pathetic creature with a problem, who needs to be
patronized.
For those of you who would prefer not to ask her, but
would still like to know, here is a checklist to help you.
1. In the middle of lovemaking, and just before the
moment it sounds as though she is about to have an
orgasm, stop and take away the magazine she's been
looking at. If she says, "Dammit, I was reading that!"
she was faking it.
2. If her panting, groaning and screaming are in tune, or
sound like a familiar song, she can't be concentrating
enough on the job at hand, and must therefore be faking
it. Or else she really likes the song playing on her iPod.
3. A rule of thumb, which is usually very accurate, is:
stop at random and record her response. If every time
you stop she says "Mmmm, you were wonderful, baby"
she is faking it. If she says "Don't stop!" she isn't.
However, if she says "Don't stop!" hours after love-
making has finished, it is possible that she may have
fallen asleep, and missed most of the excitement.
Remember these guidelines for future reference
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A blonde and a guy were out on a date and they ended up at "Lovers Cove"
where they were making out. The guy thought that things were going
pretty good and maybe he would get lucky tonight, so he thought that he
would ask her if she wanted to go in the back seat.
"NO!" yelled the blonde.
The guy just figured that she wasn't ready yet. Things got pretty hot
and the guy thought he would try again.
"NO!" the blonde yelled again.
Things got even hotter and the blond was down to her bra and the guy
even had her pants unzipped.
"Do you wanna go in the back seat yet?" asked the guy.
"For the last time, NO!" said the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asked,
"Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde looked at him and said, "Because I wanna stay up here with
you."
