The Arnold Schwarzenegger Affair

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Affair

News Item: Arnold Schwarzenegger waited until after his term as governor of California ended to tell his wife that he had fathered a child with one of their "household staff" members -- ten years before. She left him.

With that, we offer a Jumbo Joke original...

Saying that he now has *Total Recall*, Arnold Schwarzenegger told his wife Maria Shriver that he was done telling *True Lies*, and gave her *The Rundown*. He promised that the household servant was positively his *Last Action Hero*. He said he had been taking care of *Junior* financially because the woman had refused his *Eraser* proposal. *The Villain* was just grateful she didn't have *Twins*.

By *The 6th Day* after her husband's confession, Maria had embarked on *The Long Goodbye* toward the *End of Days* -- "Who's the *Terminator* now, bucko?" she said before slamming the door behind her.

The governor's mistress, referred to in reports only as "*Red Sonja*" (who attracted Ahnold in the first place by going *Commando* around the mansion), insists the governor was a *Predator* who was often in *Red Heat* around her. Still, she had to admit she enjoyed his favorite bedtime game, *Around the World in 80 Days*, and said the 63-year-old governor was still capable of *Pumping Iron*.

Schwarzenegger's reputation is in shambles, and he claims he has gotten a *Raw Deal*. He has become a *Running Man* who can't seem to get anyone to answer his calls. His career in shambles, it seems the only job he qualifies for now is as a *Kindergarten Cop*.

__._,_.___