The Perfect Car
A Lady walks into a Mercedes dealership.
She browses around, then spots the perfect car and walks over to
inspect it.
As she bends to feel the fine leather upholstery, a loud fart escapes
her. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has
noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person doesn't pop up
right now.
As she turns back, there standing next to her is Andre a salesman.
"Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?"
Very uncomfortably she asks,
"Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?"
He answers,
"Madame, I'm very sorry to say that if you farted just touching it,
you are going to SHIT when you hear the price."
**********
Why is 68 the maximum speed for a blonde?
Because at 69 they blow a rod!
Did you know the average male is 6 inches long, and the average
female is 8 inches deep?
So in New York City alone there is over 2 miles of unused pussy!
======
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain,
they name him Juan". Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his
mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she
also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If
you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
========
There was a foursome of ladies about to play a par three,
165 yards long. Suddenly, out from the trees beside the fairway... a streaker ran across the open expanse of the fairway.
