Murphy's Laws On Sex
The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave
her with no hard feelings.
Nothing improves with age.
No matter how many times you've had it, if it's offered take it, because
it'll never be quite the same again.
Sex has no calories.
Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of
trouble.
There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.
No sex with anyone in the same office.
Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or
how long it is going to last.
Virginity can be cured.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same
ones she can't stand years later.
Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
It is always the wrong time of month.
When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.
Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't
either.
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night -- Then on Sunday pray for crop
failure.
The younger the better.
Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.
Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.
Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into
our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.
Love is a matter of chemistry. Sex is a matter of physics.
Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter
words to convey its full meaning.
You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.
Thou shall not commit adultery.....unless in the mood.
A woman never forgets the men she could have had. A man, the women he
couldn't.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.
Love comes in spurts.
Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are
unimportant.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
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