Different Kinds Of Breasts
A family is sitting around the supper table. The son asks his father,
"Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised,
answers,
"Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a
woman's breasts are like melons, round and Firm. In her thirties to forties,
they are like pears, still nice but Hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like
onions."
"Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry."
This infuriated the wife and daughter so the daughter said, "Mom, how
many kind of penises are there?" The mother, surprised, smiles, and
looks at her husband and answers, "Well, dear, a man goes through three phases.
In a man's twenties, his penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his
thirties and forties, it Is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After
his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" "Yes, dead
from the root up & the balls are there for decoration only!
Hello darling," breathed the obscene phone caller. "If you can
guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."
"Listen Dude," drawled the lil' Texas lady,
"If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't the least bit interested."
___________
What's the useless skin around a penis called???
The MAN!
How can you tell if a man is horny?
He's breathing.
Chinese words for pussy: Tongue chow
Chinese words for bad pussy: Tongue chow yuck
__________
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of
apples. The nun made a note, and posted it on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a
note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
__________
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman:
"I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen".
The surprised salesman replies: - "But madam, computers do not
...have curtains...".
And the blonde said: - "Helloooo.... I've got Windows!!!"
