Better To Be Female
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
We never ejaculate prematurely.
We can have sex anytime we want.
We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls,
and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.
We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our
sexuality.
When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's
pathetic.
We don't have to get our strength up between sessions...and it's much
easier for us to get "some" in the first place.
We can get off with teenagers without being called dirty old perverts.
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like
complete idiots in ours.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing
inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers......
Men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
Taxis stop for us.
We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a
computer game.
We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
------
A lawyer walked into a bar, sat down and ordered a drink. As he
was sipping it, he looked over at the woman sitting on the stool
next to his.
Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced
him, looked him straight in the eye and said, "Listen here, 'Good
Looking', I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place,
in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up,
sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean . . . it
doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of
college and I just love it."
Eyes now wide with interest, he responded, "No kidding! I'm a
lawyer, too. What firm are you with?"
