Headaches
The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare
condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the
pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the
pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live
for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had
no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first
time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of
himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a
different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He
saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new
suit."
He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The
elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long."
Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60
years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly.
As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about
a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The
salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeve & 16-1/2 neck." Again,
Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the
business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the
collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was
on a roll and said, "Why not?" The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said,
"Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you
know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably
around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back,
eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."
Joe laughed. "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18
years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A
size 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your
spine and give you one hell of a headache.
in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?
He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you
the money.
He said... "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!"
She said..."No problem, I'll get you some that is."
He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
light on.
He said... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said...I would, but you're never there.
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