Repairs A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife
interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's
been flickering for weeks now."
He looks at her and says angrily, "Fix the light? Now? Does it
look like I have a G. E. logo printed on my forehead? I don't
think so."
"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close right."
To which he replied, "Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have
Westinghouse written on my forehead? I don't think so."
"Fine," she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the
front door? They're about to break."
"I'm not a damn carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps," he
says.
"Does it look like I have Ace Hardware written on my forehead? I
don't think so. I've had enough of you. I'm going to the bar!!!"
So he goes to the bar and drinks for a couple hours.
He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides
to go home and help out.
As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed.
As he enters the house, he sees the hall light is working. As he
goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.
"Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"
She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried.
Just then a nice young man asked me what was wrong, and I told him.
He offered to do all the repairs, and all I had to do was either
give him a blow job and fuck him, or bake him a cake."
He said, "So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"
She replied, "Hellooooooo! Do you see Betty Crocker written on my
forehead?
A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"
A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo. To help him, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Humm, buffalo come". The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come"? and the Indian replies, "ear sticky". |
