"The Toilet"

A man won an all expense paid trip to New York. Of course, he was freaking stoked about it, so he went.

When he arrived at the hotel, he let himself be escorted to the room. It was glorious, with a big screen T.V. with satellite service, thousands of channels, porn, PPV and all, a king size bed, free long distance, DSL internet, and a bathroom the size of his living room.

He had thought throughout the tour, that this place was just too great to leave. So he decided to stay there instead of wandering the hectic streets of New York City. Well, first off, he had to take a shit after the long plane ride, so he headed to the bathroom. He sat down at the toilet, took his dump, then noticed that there was not T.P.. He was a bit pissed, but then he saw three buttons on the side of the shitter.

 

He thought, "..the bellhop had said not to use them...but....what the fuck can it hurt, right?..."

So, he pressed the first button, and a jet of water shot at his ass, cleaning the crap away.

"..Whoa shit, that was weird....oh well....kinda cool though..."

 

He pressed the next one, and his hole was blow-dryed.

"...Heh-heh..that's awesome..all clean and dry..."

 

He thought for a second, and pressed the third button, then felt the worst pain in his life, causing him to pass out right then and there. He woke up about fifteen minutes later in an ambulance, and was looking around, settling his eyes on the nurse.

 

"...Wha-...what happened?..."

The nurse replied " Sir, you pressed the third button on the toilet."

"...Why am I in an ambulance?...

" The nurse hesitated for a moment. "Sir, the third button was the switch for a tampon remover. We're taking you to the hospital to have your penis reattached."

......weird.....yes........funny...............yes...........