One liners - Definations

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.








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2. Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a 5 day test match.








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3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which the man loses his bachelor's degree and the woman gains her master's.








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4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage.








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5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through "the minds of either".








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6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.








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7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in? such a way that everybody believes, she got the biggest piece.








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8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which the masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.








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9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage and success before work.








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10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everyone disagrees later on.








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11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.








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12. Classic: A book which people praise but do not read.








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13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.








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14. Office: A place where you can relax from the strenuous home life.








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15. Yawn: The only time some married men get to open their mouth.








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16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.








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17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.








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18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.








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19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.