Ever wonder about the meaning of all those new words that are being spoken around the water cooler? Here's a handy guide to all those new words and their definitions:
BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or why a project failed and who was responsible.
TOURISTS - People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs, as in, "We had three serious students in the class. The rest were just tourists."
TREEWARE - Printed computer software/hardware documentation.
CLM (Career Limiting Move) - Used among micro-serfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot, for example, is a serious CLM.
CEB (Career Ending Blunder) - A really serious CLM.
OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. (See CLM and CEB)
ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
DILBERTED - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. This term is derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the engineer in the job-from-hell comic strip. Example: "I've been Dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week!"
SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops on everything, and then leaves.
SALMON WEEK - The experience of spending an entire week swimming upstream only to die, and have someone else get the benefit.
404 - A state of cluelessness. Derived from the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning the requested document could not be located. An example: "Don't bother asking him, he's 404, man!"
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking an electronic device just right to get it to work again.
GOOD QUESTION - Any question a member of management cannot answer.