We were sitting down watching the game and letting our minds wander the other day, when all these thoughts about baseball just started occurring to us:
Some baseball players are going to make more money this year than Mexico.
Baseball players wish reporters would stop asking them about salaries, drugs, and sex so the players can concentrate on the things that matter to them: salaries, drugs, and sex.
Scientists claim that dogs will eat anything that's put in front of them, just like baseball fans.
Baseball salaries are incredible. It costs more to buy a baseball team than it costs to buy an election.
Every baseball season, the fans are afraid the players on their team will be traded, and the fans of the (insert losing team here) are afraid their players won't be.
More and more stadiums are bringing back natural grass. They have to. All that tobacco juice is ruining the AstroTurf.
It's not that baseball is boring, but they could add a lot of excitement to the game if they'd give everybody a bat and have a goalie guarding home plate.
Spring training is very important. It gives all the Dominican players time to learn how to say "renegotiate" in English.
There's something wrong with society when you can save up $2 million and still not be able to buy a left-handed pitcher.
After football, basketball and hockey, finally, baseball - a whistle-free game a man can sleep through.
Here's an idea. Why not combine the designated driver and the designated hitter, so that after the 7th inning, the DH drives all the drunk fans home?
Lights, camera, spit!