Free Drinks

 FREE DRINKS

A guy went into a bar and the owner told him he could have free drinks all night if he made the donkey in the corner laugh.

So the guy went over to the donkey and whispered in the donkey's ear and the donkey burst out laughing.

The owner gave the guy free drinks all night.

The guy went into the same bar the next night and this time the owner told him that if he could make the donkey cry that he'd give him free drinks all night.

So the guy went over to the donkey and before you know it, the donkey was crying.

When the guy got back to his table the owner asked him how he made the donkey laugh one night and cry the next.

The guy said, " last night I told him mine was bigger than his, and tonight I showed him".

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Pay Per View

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Customer Satisfaction

 

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Work Place Agreement - From Employer

 Work Place Agreement - From Employer

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.

Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Death Clause
Any worker found dead at their desk will be promptly fired. All deaths will need to be applied for in advance and will only be approved if your can show that your death will not affect productivity.




Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustration's, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

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Rich Spanish Duchess Of Alba To Wed At Age 85

Rich Spanish Duchess Of Alba To Wed At Age 85

One of Spain's richest nobles is to marry at the age of 85, wedding a man 25 years her junior despite initial opposition from her children. The Duchess of Alba whose full name is Maria del Rosario Cayetana Alfonsa Victoria Eugenia Francisca Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva, released a statement Tuesday saying she'll tie the knot with Alfonso Diez, 60, in early October. He is a civil servant in the government's social security administration, and this would be her third marriage.

The Duchess' offspring have been known to oppose the marriage. She said in a rare interview early this year she wanted to wed Diez but her children were against the idea. In July, however, she apparently placated them by dividing up much of her vast wealth among them, assigning castles, palaces and other property of the 500-year-old House of Alba which they will inherit upon her death. They are reported to be satisfied with the divvying up of her estate, and media have since been speculating as to when wedding bells might toll.













The Duchess of Alba and boyfriend Alfonso Diez Carabantes

Cut

 

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20 Prettiest Princesses In The World

 20 PRETTIEST PRINCESSES IN THE WORLD

These are some of the loveliest princesses from all over the world. There is no one winner in this bunch, they are all royally beautiful. 

Kate Middleton 
 
When lovely Kate Middleton weds Prince William on April 29, she likely will become England's newest princess, according to reports. But she won't be the world's only pretty princess. Whether they hold any actual power or not, attractive real-life princesses can be found all over the globe, giving 4-year-old girls everywhere hope that they, too, could one day wear a crown. 

Princess Letizia 
 
Future Queen of Spain, the wife of the heir apparent to the Spanish throne is a former TV anchor. 

Charlene Wittstock 
 
Future Princess of Monaco, The South African Olympic swimmer married Albert II, Prince of Monaco, the ruler of the tiny principality, in 2011. She is now Her Serene Highness, the Princess of Monaco, just like Albert's mother, Grace Kelly. 

Charlene Wittstock and Albert II 
 

 

 

 

Beatrice Borromeo 
 
Future Princess of Monaco. The Italian model (and daughter of a count), Borromeo is generally acknowledged as the girlfriend of Pierre Casiraghi, the nephew of Prince Albert II, and third in line to the throne of Monaco. If she were to marry Pierre and he ascended the throne, she'd be the new princess of Monaco. Of course, that's a big if. 

 
As a model, Borromeo leads a pretty charmed life anyway. 

Charlotte Casiraghi 
 
Potential Princess of Monaco. Charlotte Casiraghi, Pierre's sister and daughter of Princess Caroline, is fourth in the line to the throne of Monaco, but she's not technically a princess right now. 

 
Though she's a private citizen, Casiraghi is honorary head of Monaco's horse-jumping organization, so she's got that going for her. 

Princess Martha Louise Of Norway 
 
Princess Martha Louisa of Norway signs her book Discover Your Guardian Angel at a book signing. 

Princess Clotilde Courau 
 
French actress Clotilde Courau, wife of Italian Prince of Venice and Piedmont Emmanuel Philiberto de Savoie, was an acclaimed actress before she wed the prince in 2003. 

Princess Máxima 
 
Future Queen of the Netherlands. Princess Maxima is married to Crown Prince Willem-Alexander, heir apparent to the Dutch throne. 

Princess Haya Bint Al Hussein 
 
The daughter of Jordan's king, here watching the races at Ascot, England, is also the wife of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the ruler of the emirate of Dubai. 

Princess Mathilde 
 
Belgium's Future Queen. Princess Mathilde of Belgium, wife of Prince Philippe, the heir apparent to the Belgian throne, is also a descendant of Polish nobility. 

Princess Tamara Czartoryski-Borbon 
 
The daughter of Prince Adam Czartoryski Borbón and cousin to King Juan Carlos I of Spain, Czartoryski-Borbon is an athlete and model, and once hosted a Thai kickboxing show. 

Princess Sirivannavari Nariratana 
 
The only daughter of Thailand's Crown Prince Maha Vajralongkorn is a competitive badminton player and has started her own fashion line. 

Crown Princess Victoria 
 
Future Queen of Sweden. Princess Victoria is the heiress apparent to the Swedish throne. In August 2011, the palace confirmed that she was expecting her first child -- the future king or queen of Sweden. 

Princess Madeleine of Sweden 
 
The second daughter of King Carl XVI Gustaf and Queen Silvia of Sweden, Princess Madeline is renowned for her love of horseriding. 

 

Princess Tunku Myra Madihah 
 
Royal Daughter of Malaysia. 

Princess Mary of Denmark 
 
The Australian-born wife of Frederik, Crown Prince of Denmark, Princess Mary (here with daughter Princess Isabella) met her husband, the Danish heir apparent, in a pub during the 2000 Sydney Olympics. 

Princess Beatrice of York 
 
Princess Beatrice also happens to be fifth in line to the throne. 

Princess Eugenie 
 
Eugenie is sixth in line to the British throne. 

Manohara Odelia Pinot 
 
An American-Indonesian model, Manohara Odelia Pinot is in the process of divorcing her husband, Prince Tengku Muhammad Fakhry, whom she accuses of abusing her. The prince won a defamation suit against his estranged wife (whom he married when she was 16), but the controversy continues.

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Indian History as written by a school boy

Indian History as written by a school boy : Thought provoking reading !! Indian History : Supposedly written by a schoolboy with all original spellings: The original nhabitants of ancient India were called Adidases, who lived in two cities called Hariappa and Mujhe-na-Daro. These cties had the best drain system in the orld and so there was no brain drain from them. Ancient India was full of myths which have been handed own from son to father. A myth is a female moth. A collection of myths is called mythology, which means stories with female caricatures. one myth says that people in olden times worshipped monkeys because they were our ncestors. In olden times there were two big families in India . One was called the Pandava and the other was called the Karova. They fought amongst themselves in a battle called mahabharat, after which India came to be known as MeraBharat Mahan. In midevil times India was ruled by the Slave Dienasty. So named because they all died a nasty death. Then came the Tughlaqs who shifted their capital from Delhi because of its pollution. They were followed by the Mowglis. The greatest Mowgli was Akbar because he extinguished himself on the battlefield of Panipat which is in Hurryana. But his son Jehangir was peace loving; he married one Hindu wife and kept 300 porcupines. Then came Shahajahan who had 14 sons.. Family planning had not been invented at that time. He also built the Taj Mahal hotel for his wife who now sleeps there. The king sent all his sons away to distant parts of India because they started quarrelling. Dara Seiko was sent to UP, Shaikh Bhakhtiyar was sent to J & K, while Orangezip came to Bombay to fight Shivaji. However,after that they changed its name to Mumbai because Shivaji's sena did not like it. They also do not like New Delhi , so they are calling it Door Darshan. After the Mowglis came Vasco the Gama. He was an exploder who was circumcising India with a 100 foot clipper. Then came the British. They brought with them many inventions such as cricket, tramtarts and steamed railways. They were followed by the French who brought in French fries, pizzazz and laundry. But Robert Clive drove them out when he deafened Duplex who was out membered since the British had the queen on their side. Eventually, the British came to Overrule India because there was too much diversity in our unity. The British overruled India for a long period.They were great expotents and impotents. They started expoting salt from India and impoting cloth. This was not liked by Mahatma Gandhi who wanted to produce his own salt. This was called the Swedish moment. During this moment, many people burnt their lion cloths in the street and refused to wear anything else. The British became very angry at this and stopped the production of Indian testiles. In 1920, Mahatma Gandhi was married to one wife. Soon after he became the father of the nation. In 1942 he started the Quiet India moment, so named because the British were quietly lootoing our country. In 1947, India became free and its people became freely loving. This increased our population. Its government became a limited mockery, which means people are allowed to take the law in their own hands with the help of the police. Our constipation is the best in the world because it says that no man can be hanged twice for the same crime. It also says you cannot be put in prison if you have not paid your taxis. Another important thing about our constipation is that it can be changed. This is not possible with the British constipation because it is not written on paper. The Indian parlemint consists of two houses which are called lower and higher. This is because one Mr Honest Abe said that two houses divided against itself cannot withstand to Pandit Nehru asked the British for freedom at midnight since the British were afraid of the dark. At midnight on August 15, there was a tryst in parlemint in which many participated by wearing khaki and hosting the flag. Recently in India , there have been a large number of scams and a plaque,it can be dangerous because many people died of this plaque in Surat . Scams are all over India . One of these was in Bihar where holy cows were not given anything to eat by their elected leader.. The other scam was in Bofor which is a small town in Switzerland.In this, a lot of Indian money was given to buy a gun which can shoot a coot. Presently India has a coalishun government made up of many parties, left,right and centre. It has started to library the economy. This means that there is now no need for a licence as the economy will be driven by itself. India is also trying to become an Asian tiger because its own Tigers are being poached. Another important event this year was the Shark meeting at Dalas Dive. At this place, shark leaders agreed to share their poverty, pollution and population.

``` man O man ```

Man O Man !

When he is without money, he eats vegetables at home;

When he has money, he eats vegetables in a fine restaurant.

When he is without money, he rides bicycle to work;

When he has money, he rides bicycle to exercise.

When he is without money, he walks to eat food;

When he has money, he walks to burn food.

When he is without money, he wishes to get married;

When he has money, he wishes to get divorced.

When he is without money, his wife becomes secretary;

When he has money, his secretary becomes wife.

When he is without money, he acts like a rich man;

When he has money, he acts like a pauper.

He says share market is bad but he keeps on speculating;

He says money is evil but he keeps on craving for it.

He says high positions are lonely but he keeps on struggling for it;

He says gambling & drinking is bad but he keeps on indulging in it.

Man O Man !

He never means what he says and never says what he means !

He simply can't tell a simple truth !!!

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Aria Giovanni Penthouse Babe of the Day

Aria Giovanni Penthouse Babe of the Day

INFOGRAPHIC: The Anatomy Of A Facebook Fan

Facebook likes and plug-ins for websites connect brands with current and prospective customers. Figuring out how to engage them is a pretty hot topic among marketers. Advice on that appears in the infographic below.

We’ve excerpted this infographic from The Fan Brand’s Guide To Facebook Commerce, a free e-book that Moon Toast published today; the publication rounds up a batch of blog entries the company had posted on the subject. Let us know what you think of this material in the comments section below.

Facebook Previews Privacy Settings, Posts And Tags

Facebook has posted a “coming soon” announcement about the forthcoming changes to the site.


A promotional teaser appears at the top of the main privacy settings screen (we’ve had to reduce the size of these screenshots by about 50 percent in order to fit them into our blog template).

Clicking on “Learn more about what to expect” leads to a guide to the new settings. A landing page organizes the how-to content into six different links, plus an embedded video.

This guide looks pretty thorough, an example of how Facebook continues to improve its user education efforts when launching new products. Ever since the introduction of the news feed to the site, users have complained about changes at first, and then gotten used to them.

Readers, have you checked out Facebook’s preview guide to the new privacy settings and tags? Have you seen any of these features on your homepage or profile yet?

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