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A man walks into a drug store with his 8 year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of -factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son... Men use them to have safe sex."
"Oh, I see," replied the boy pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."
He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there 3 in this package?"
The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
"Cool, says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?"
"Those are for college men." the Dad answers. "Two for Friday, Two for Saturday and Two for Sunday."
"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks with bright eyes, picking up the 12 pack.
With a sigh, the Dad replied, "Those are for married men, one for January, one for February, one for March..."
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Apr 21, 2011
Curiosity
GLAD TO BE A MAN AND GLAD TO BE A WOMAN!
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FIVE SHORT STORIES FOR MEN, BY MEN
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Woman Jokes - One Liners
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Woman Jokes - One LinersAt a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?' The other replied, 'Yes, I am, I married the wrong man.' My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' The husband replied, 'Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.' 'I never know how much of what I say is true.' Bette Midler A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted' . Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can. Margo Kaufman Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters. Alice Thomas Ellis 'It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time. __._,_.___ | ||
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Never Give Up!
| One day a young lady was driving along with her father. They came upon a storm, and the young lady asked her father, What should I do?" He said "keep driving". Cars began to pull over to the side, the storm was Getting worse. "What should I do." The young lady asked? "Keep driving," her father replied. On up a few feet, she noticed that eighteen wheelers were also pulling over. She told her dad, "I must pull over, I can barely see ahead. It is Terrible, and everyone is pulling over!" Her father told her, "Don't give up, just keep driving!" Now the storm was terrible, but she never stopped driving, and soon she Could see a little more clearly. After a couple of miles she was again on Dry land, and the sun came out. Her father said, "Now you can pull over and get out." She said "But why now?" He said "When you get out, look back at all the people that gave up and are Still in the storm, because you never gave up your storm is now over. This is a testimony for anyone who is going through "hard times". Just because everyone else, even the strongest, gives up. You don't have To...if you keep going, soon your storm will be over and the sun will shine Upon your face again. This story touched me! Reply If it touched you, too !!! | ||
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Raisin Bread - an oldie
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After many trips she was tired and irritated and beginning to wonder, "why the unusual interest in the raisin bread?" Atop the ladder one more time, she looked down and glared at the men standing below. Then she noticed an elderly man standing amongst the crowd. Thinking that she could save herself a trip, she yelled at the elderly man, "Is it raisin for you, too?" "No," stammered the old man, "but it's quivering a little." __._,_.___ | ||
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I met a beautiful young woman at a nightclub. We were getting on very well when she said she had something to show me. She removed her wig and she was totally bald. ''It's alopecia,'' she said ''but if you still like me you can ask me anything''. I have always wanted to know, so I asked her straight. ''Does your condition make you bald in other places?'' I asked. She whispered in my ear ''There's only one way to find out.''
What an idiot I am. Forgetting about Google at a time like this. __._,_.___ | ||
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Man laws.....
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Spread of AIDS
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Grandpa's Drink............
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Top 10 Reasons Women Cheat on Men
Cheating most of the time is not a justifiable act but still before questioning your partner in hard way its better to understand the possible or logically reason behind her act. Your partner's infidelity can raise a whole bunch of questions, the most common being: 'Why did she do it?'
It's always difficult to come to terms with this form of betrayal, particularly if there had been no warning signals. She could have been as jolly as Santa, calm and, seemingly, pleased with the way things were going between you two.
In contrast, the relationship could have been showing signs of deterioration for some time and although you both may have been unhappy for a while, it doesn't soften the blow or by no means excuse her disloyalty... unless you've cheated before (that, fellas, is called karma!).
There's a myriad of motives that could have prompted her to play away so read on as we reveal 10 reasons why women cheat.
Revenge
"She might plunge into a 'revenge-fling' as payback if you've had an affair yourself or hurt her badly in some way," says relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr. "Revenge-flings are almost always impulsive and she'll probably end up regretting it.
"It's the power of those painful feelings you've brought about in her, though, that get in the way of any rational thinking. I never recommend a revenge-fling as a way forward - two wrongs definitely don't make things right in a relationship that's been rocked by your previous affair or hurtful behaviour."
Unlike men, who are more likely to have an affair in order to fulfil their sexual needs, women take a more emotional approach by questioning their partner's low sex drive and often taking it personally, says Susan Quilliam, author of the book The New Joy Of Sex (published by Mitchell Beazley).
"Women put much more thought into emotional gratification," says Quilliam. "Whereas men are more likely to have an affair if they're sexually dissatisfied, women will question their partner's loyalty or assume that their man isn't in love with them anymore because they're no longer having sex." This could possibly lead to her seeking comfort in someone else's arms.
She feels neglected
"Don't underestimate how much feelings of neglect can drive a woman to make a bad choice and seek attention from another man," says Spurr. "Obviously it's always better for her to tell you clearly when she feels neglected but sometimes us women are guilty of believing that men are mind-readers.
Jealousy
If you're fortunate enough to be blessed with good genes and, as a result, receive a lot of attention from other women, it's possible that your partner may have an affair to make the point that you're not the only one who can turn heads.
"It isn't a matter of revenge, but rather her making the point that she is attractive too," says Susan. "She is making that point to herself as well as to you."
Ego boost
"For some women, as with some men, their ego needs constant stroking and boosting," says Spurr. "You can rarely give enough if a woman has such high maintenance needs. This is probably much more about her - and her emotional make-up - than you!
"She'll have an affair because she just loves the thrill of the passion and subterfuge. She relishes the way he makes her feel - and knowing she also has you to come home to. Until she sorts herself out, one man may rarely be enough."
She's bored of the relationship
Quilliam says that she receives a large number of letters from women who want to have an affair because their current relationship has gone sour. She says: "The relationship can be going on for years and, as time goes on, it starts to lose its spark.
Exit strategy
"This is a very interesting one because not only can an affair end a relationship, but it can also be used as a transition into another," says Quilliam.
"She knows that if she has an affair with someone meaningless then you'll just walk away, leaving her single. But she might feel that she needs another relationship to go to before she splits up with you, so she might choose her next prey wisely before she goes in for the kill."
If she's disappointed in you
If your partner feels that you're constantly letting her down or that you're not the man she originally thought you were, she might find someone who she believes is more worthy of her attention, says Quilliam.
"She may have lost all respect for you - maybe because you're not good at your job or that you're a terrible father. If she's doing well and you're not, she won't see you as an equal. She might see you as someone she no longer admires or respects. It's tough, but it's one of the main reasons why women have affairs."
Quilliam says that some women are often driven into another man's arms without their partner doing anything wrong. It's simply a case of, "it's not you, it's me."
"If there has been a dramatic change in her life, she might have an affair," says Quilliam. "Maybe because she feels like her life has come to an end or that she has gone through a highly emotional experience. She might have an affair to compensate the shift in her life to make it mean more."
She wants to change you
It's no secret that some women often attempt to change their man and sometimes they have unusual ways of doing it. One method, says Quilliam, is to have an affair.
"She may feel that you don't take her seriously or that she cannot get through to you. This could possibly lead to her having an affair. She could use it as a way of communicating to you that you need to get your finger out and start doing what she wants."
It's always difficult to come to terms with this form of betrayal, particularly if there had been no warning signals. She could have been as jolly as Santa, calm and, seemingly, pleased with the way things were going between you two.
In contrast, the relationship could have been showing signs of deterioration for some time and although you both may have been unhappy for a while, it doesn't soften the blow or by no means excuse her disloyalty... unless you've cheated before (that, fellas, is called karma!).
There's a myriad of motives that could have prompted her to play away so read on as we reveal 10 reasons why women cheat.
Revenge
"She might plunge into a 'revenge-fling' as payback if you've had an affair yourself or hurt her badly in some way," says relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr. "Revenge-flings are almost always impulsive and she'll probably end up regretting it.
"It's the power of those painful feelings you've brought about in her, though, that get in the way of any rational thinking. I never recommend a revenge-fling as a way forward - two wrongs definitely don't make things right in a relationship that's been rocked by your previous affair or hurtful behaviour."
Unlike men, who are more likely to have an affair in order to fulfil their sexual needs, women take a more emotional approach by questioning their partner's low sex drive and often taking it personally, says Susan Quilliam, author of the book The New Joy Of Sex (published by Mitchell Beazley).
"Women put much more thought into emotional gratification," says Quilliam. "Whereas men are more likely to have an affair if they're sexually dissatisfied, women will question their partner's loyalty or assume that their man isn't in love with them anymore because they're no longer having sex." This could possibly lead to her seeking comfort in someone else's arms.
She feels neglected
"Don't underestimate how much feelings of neglect can drive a woman to make a bad choice and seek attention from another man," says Spurr. "Obviously it's always better for her to tell you clearly when she feels neglected but sometimes us women are guilty of believing that men are mind-readers.
Jealousy
If you're fortunate enough to be blessed with good genes and, as a result, receive a lot of attention from other women, it's possible that your partner may have an affair to make the point that you're not the only one who can turn heads.
"It isn't a matter of revenge, but rather her making the point that she is attractive too," says Susan. "She is making that point to herself as well as to you."
Ego boost
"For some women, as with some men, their ego needs constant stroking and boosting," says Spurr. "You can rarely give enough if a woman has such high maintenance needs. This is probably much more about her - and her emotional make-up - than you!
"She'll have an affair because she just loves the thrill of the passion and subterfuge. She relishes the way he makes her feel - and knowing she also has you to come home to. Until she sorts herself out, one man may rarely be enough."
She's bored of the relationship
Quilliam says that she receives a large number of letters from women who want to have an affair because their current relationship has gone sour. She says: "The relationship can be going on for years and, as time goes on, it starts to lose its spark.
Exit strategy
"This is a very interesting one because not only can an affair end a relationship, but it can also be used as a transition into another," says Quilliam.
"She knows that if she has an affair with someone meaningless then you'll just walk away, leaving her single. But she might feel that she needs another relationship to go to before she splits up with you, so she might choose her next prey wisely before she goes in for the kill."
If she's disappointed in you
If your partner feels that you're constantly letting her down or that you're not the man she originally thought you were, she might find someone who she believes is more worthy of her attention, says Quilliam.
"She may have lost all respect for you - maybe because you're not good at your job or that you're a terrible father. If she's doing well and you're not, she won't see you as an equal. She might see you as someone she no longer admires or respects. It's tough, but it's one of the main reasons why women have affairs."
Quilliam says that some women are often driven into another man's arms without their partner doing anything wrong. It's simply a case of, "it's not you, it's me."
"If there has been a dramatic change in her life, she might have an affair," says Quilliam. "Maybe because she feels like her life has come to an end or that she has gone through a highly emotional experience. She might have an affair to compensate the shift in her life to make it mean more."
She wants to change you
It's no secret that some women often attempt to change their man and sometimes they have unusual ways of doing it. One method, says Quilliam, is to have an affair.
"She may feel that you don't take her seriously or that she cannot get through to you. This could possibly lead to her having an affair. She could use it as a way of communicating to you that you need to get your finger out and start doing what she wants."
incOme tax wOrry
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
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Salesman
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BEING A COURT REPORTER IS NOT EASY...!!!!!
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How do you do it?
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As the bus pulled away, Janet realized she had left her purse under the seat. Later she called the company and was relieved to find out the driver had found her bag. When she went to pick it up, several off- duty bus drivers surrounded her. One of the men handed over her pocketbook, two typewritten pages, and a box containing the contents of Janet's purse. "We're required to inventory lost wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything there." As she started to put my belongings back into the pocketbook, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse... and we'd like to see just how you do it." __._,_.___ | ||
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Bragging about kids
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