At six in the morning, the big toe looks at the penis and says,
"Psst! Hey!" The penis stands up and says,
"Yeah?" The toe says, "You know man, I've really got it tough.
Every morning this guy shoves me into a stinking old sock, ties me up
in a dirty old shoe, walks on me all over town, and people step on me
all day long."
The penis says, "Fella, you ain't got no problems at all.
This guy shoves me into a jock strap that's too tight. Then he goes
over to his girlfriend's house, starts messing around with her, and I
get all tense and excited, and I can't move a muscle.
Then he shoves this rubber balloon over my head, locks me in a big
hairy cage, and makes me do push-ups until I get sick and throw up."
A blonde calls the Delta Airlines and asks, "can you tell me how long
it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York city"?
The agent replies, Just a minute . . .
"Thank you" the blonde says, and hangs up.
Men are like Road Kill
They usually just lie around until they start to smell
Sign in the window of a home cookin' restaurant in Phoenix: ;The best
piece of chicken you'll ever get without being a rooster!
The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.
Two headaches and a hard-on
Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads?
They want to measure their intelligence.
Why do blondes stand under light bulbs?
It's the closest they'll come to a bright idea.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
A Priest lost his pet rooster and couldn't find it no matter how
many times he checked around his Parish. Frustrated, he
decided to bring it up during his Sunday Mass. From the pulpit,
he asked loudly, "Anyone got a cock?" All the men inside the
Church stood up! "No, I mean, has anyone seen a cock?"
All the women inside the Church stood up. "No, no, no...what
I mean is...has anyone seen MY cock?" All the nuns stood up!